1) BRAIN TUMOR:
Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!
2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!
3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:
Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!
4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:
Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!
5) Marriage:
Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16
Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.
6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:
Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.
Friend: What tape did you took anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.
7) DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:
Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend: what now?
Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!
8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:
Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.
9) Spelling lesson:
Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
New Jokes for Mach, 2009
1.
Teacher: 'What is your name?'
Student: 'Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.'
Teacher: 'When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.'
Student: 'My name is Sunlight.
2.
Teacher: 'What is your name?'.
Student: 'My name is Beautiful Red Underwear'
Teacher: 'What kind of a name is this? Don't joke tell me the right name'
Student: 'My name is Sunderlal Chadda."
3.
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhiji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.
4.
Teacher: What is the full form of maths?
Student: Mentally affected teachers harassing students
5.
Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?
Student: BROTHERLY LOVE
Teacher: Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August?
Student: A holiday
6.
Teacher: 'Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? '
Johnny: 'Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.'
7.
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)
8.
Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs3/kg...Then, what is my age?
Student: 32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
Student: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
Teacher: 'What is your name?'
Student: 'Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.'
Teacher: 'When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.'
Student: 'My name is Sunlight.
2.
Teacher: 'What is your name?'.
Student: 'My name is Beautiful Red Underwear'
Teacher: 'What kind of a name is this? Don't joke tell me the right name'
Student: 'My name is Sunderlal Chadda."
3.
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhiji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.
4.
Teacher: What is the full form of maths?
Student: Mentally affected teachers harassing students
5.
Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?
Student: BROTHERLY LOVE
Teacher: Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August?
Student: A holiday
6.
Teacher: 'Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? '
Johnny: 'Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.'
7.
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)
8.
Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs3/kg...Then, what is my age?
Student: 32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
Student: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Biggest Cities and places to visit in New Zealand
Planning to visit New Zealand. First let us know something about this country.
New Zealand lies in the South Pacific Ocean, south-east of Australia and has a mountainous terrain, with some large coastal plains. At 0 m, the lowest point of New Zealand is the Pacific Ocean. With an elevation of 3,754 m, Aoraki-Mount Cook is the highest point of the country.
New Zealand is a place of sublime natural beauty, populated exclusively by sheep, hobbits, and, lately, hoteliers. But for a high-style antipodal experience, it's hard to know where to stay. New Zealand’s summer is a good time to visit the country. Those looking to avoid the usual tourist crowd should refrain from travelling to New Zealand during their peak summer months, from mid-December to mid-January.
There are very good number of places to visit in New Zealand. The biggest city in New Zealand is Auckland, and the capital city of New Zealand is Wellington, the third biggest city. Both these cities are situated on the more populous North Island. The biggest city in the South Island and second biggest in New Zealand is Christchurch.
1. AUCKLAND: Auckland is well named as the ‘City of Sails’ because of its association with round-the-world yacht races and the America’s Cup. The Auckland metropolitan area or Greater Auckland, situated on and around an isthmus in the North Island of New Zealand, is the largest urban area of the country, with a cosmopolitan population exceeding 1.2 million. The local Maori name for Auckland is Tāmaki Makau Rau or Ākarana. One of the main geographical features in Auckland are the 50 or so volcanic cones that are dotted in and around the city's suburbs. The more known volcanos include Mt Victoria, Mt Albert, Mt Wellington and the most famous of all, One Tree Hill. These Volcanic cones offer the best views of Auckland as they rise abruptly from the undulating landscape below. The city has held 2 Americas Cup events and you can wine and dine at any number of superb restaurants, cafes, and bars along the harbour to service the yachting and dining culture.
There are large number of Hotels in Auckland to stay. Staying at these hotels is really a very good and rich experience. And as New Zealand's largest city, Auckland's range of hotels and motels is second to none. An overview of Auckland Hotels can be obtained by clicking here.
2. WELLINGTON: Wellington is the Capital of New Zealand. The city is built around a magnificent harbour and the suburbs extend up and over steep hills until you reach the southern coastline. Northward expansion of the city extends into the Hutt Valley and along the western coastline. Wellington prides itself on the fact that it is a cultural and arts centre, and offers an abundance of quality restaurants and cafes. The city centre is lively and offers a wide range of shopping, nightlife and entertainment. Wellington's waterfront also has many facilities to enjoy, there are parks, shops and New Zealand's National Museum called Te Papa. Wellington is a small capital (is only two kilometres wide so it can be easily explored on foot), but is really full with interesting attractions, good shops, exciting galleries and great restaurants. There are a large number of good hotels at Wellington to stay and enjoy. Have an overview of Wellington Hotels.
3. CHRISTHURCH: Christchurch is the biggest city in the South Island and the 3rd biggest city in New Zealand. It is a popular destination in New Zealand and is a major gateway to the country as it has the 2nd biggest international airport. Internationally famed, the Garden City, Christchurch's well-established expansive parks and public gardens owe much to the planning and foresight of the city's founding fathers. The centrally-located 161 hectare Hagley Park, the Botanic Gardens, the four leafy inner-city avenues, Victoria Square and spectacular gardens such as Mona Vale on the banks of the River Avon bear testimony to this legacy. The city is also often called as Garden City because of its over 740 Parks. The Square in the heart of the city is an entertaining place where you can sit down and watch unplanned entertainment from people debating subjects like religion or listening to the ramblings of the Wizard or the latest news from the Town Crier. Even with your head in a book, Christchurch tempts you with its beauty, as the New Brighton Library is poised right on the beach, with comfy chairs to curl up in and gaze out the window at the sea. Of course, in a town this pretty, there are a wide range of Christchurch hotels from which to base your explorations. You can have a look at the Christchurch Hotels.
Besides these places, there are a lot of other cities which are worth seeing in New Zealand.
New Zealand lies in the South Pacific Ocean, south-east of Australia and has a mountainous terrain, with some large coastal plains. At 0 m, the lowest point of New Zealand is the Pacific Ocean. With an elevation of 3,754 m, Aoraki-Mount Cook is the highest point of the country.
New Zealand is a place of sublime natural beauty, populated exclusively by sheep, hobbits, and, lately, hoteliers. But for a high-style antipodal experience, it's hard to know where to stay. New Zealand’s summer is a good time to visit the country. Those looking to avoid the usual tourist crowd should refrain from travelling to New Zealand during their peak summer months, from mid-December to mid-January.
There are very good number of places to visit in New Zealand. The biggest city in New Zealand is Auckland, and the capital city of New Zealand is Wellington, the third biggest city. Both these cities are situated on the more populous North Island. The biggest city in the South Island and second biggest in New Zealand is Christchurch.
1. AUCKLAND: Auckland is well named as the ‘City of Sails’ because of its association with round-the-world yacht races and the America’s Cup. The Auckland metropolitan area or Greater Auckland, situated on and around an isthmus in the North Island of New Zealand, is the largest urban area of the country, with a cosmopolitan population exceeding 1.2 million. The local Maori name for Auckland is Tāmaki Makau Rau or Ākarana. One of the main geographical features in Auckland are the 50 or so volcanic cones that are dotted in and around the city's suburbs. The more known volcanos include Mt Victoria, Mt Albert, Mt Wellington and the most famous of all, One Tree Hill. These Volcanic cones offer the best views of Auckland as they rise abruptly from the undulating landscape below. The city has held 2 Americas Cup events and you can wine and dine at any number of superb restaurants, cafes, and bars along the harbour to service the yachting and dining culture.
There are large number of Hotels in Auckland to stay. Staying at these hotels is really a very good and rich experience. And as New Zealand's largest city, Auckland's range of hotels and motels is second to none. An overview of Auckland Hotels can be obtained by clicking here.
2. WELLINGTON: Wellington is the Capital of New Zealand. The city is built around a magnificent harbour and the suburbs extend up and over steep hills until you reach the southern coastline. Northward expansion of the city extends into the Hutt Valley and along the western coastline. Wellington prides itself on the fact that it is a cultural and arts centre, and offers an abundance of quality restaurants and cafes. The city centre is lively and offers a wide range of shopping, nightlife and entertainment. Wellington's waterfront also has many facilities to enjoy, there are parks, shops and New Zealand's National Museum called Te Papa. Wellington is a small capital (is only two kilometres wide so it can be easily explored on foot), but is really full with interesting attractions, good shops, exciting galleries and great restaurants. There are a large number of good hotels at Wellington to stay and enjoy. Have an overview of Wellington Hotels.
3. CHRISTHURCH: Christchurch is the biggest city in the South Island and the 3rd biggest city in New Zealand. It is a popular destination in New Zealand and is a major gateway to the country as it has the 2nd biggest international airport. Internationally famed, the Garden City, Christchurch's well-established expansive parks and public gardens owe much to the planning and foresight of the city's founding fathers. The centrally-located 161 hectare Hagley Park, the Botanic Gardens, the four leafy inner-city avenues, Victoria Square and spectacular gardens such as Mona Vale on the banks of the River Avon bear testimony to this legacy. The city is also often called as Garden City because of its over 740 Parks. The Square in the heart of the city is an entertaining place where you can sit down and watch unplanned entertainment from people debating subjects like religion or listening to the ramblings of the Wizard or the latest news from the Town Crier. Even with your head in a book, Christchurch tempts you with its beauty, as the New Brighton Library is poised right on the beach, with comfy chairs to curl up in and gaze out the window at the sea. Of course, in a town this pretty, there are a wide range of Christchurch hotels from which to base your explorations. You can have a look at the Christchurch Hotels.
Besides these places, there are a lot of other cities which are worth seeing in New Zealand.
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