Jokes for the month of May, 2007

1. Customer and cooking oil.

A customer enters shop and shouts : Where's my free gift with this cooking oil?

Man : There is nothing free with this Sir,
Customer : Oyez! It's written Cholesterol Free.
Man : ?!?!?!?!


2. Gokul and Umesh

Gokul and Umesh went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two cakes, Gokul quickly picked out the bigger cake for himself. Umesh wasn't happy about that : "When are you going to learn to be polite?"

Gokul : "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?"
Umesh : "The smaller piece, of course".
Gokul : "What are you whinning about then? The smallerpiece is what you want,
right?"

3. Teacher and student

Teacher : What is the difference an elephant and housefly?
Student : Very simple. A housefly can sit on an elephant, but an elephant cannot
sit on a housefly.

4. Subhasini: Why do surgeons and nurses wear masks during a surgery?

Durga Prasad: So that, if they make a mistake, no one will know who did it.

5. Suresh : Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father : Yes, I think so. What do you want me to write?
Suresh : Your signature on my progress report card.

6. Ramu : I find a knot on your handkerchief! Who tied it?
Somu : My wife.
Ramu : Why did she do it?
Somu : To remind me to post her letter.
Ramu : And did you post it?
Somu : No, my wife forgot to give me the letter!

7. Rakesh and his mother

Mother (angry with her son) : Rakesh, why are you drawing on the wall.
Rakesh : Mummy, didn't you say this is a drawing room?

8. Conductor of a double decker bus (to a villager) : There is no seat here, plese go up.

Villager : I won't.
Conductor : Why?
villager : The bus on top has no wheels.


9. Two thieves were great friends. They met after a long time and were exchanging news.

First thief : See this gold cup. I won it in a race.
Second thief : How many others were in the race?
First thief : Only two, they were behind me. One is the owner and the other is
policeman.