Children Jokes for March, 2008

First Operation

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!"

The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"

The first kid says, "A circumcision."

And the second kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"

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Is It Dead?

One of the teachers had a kindergartener come up to her and say that he had found a frog. The teacher asked if the frog was alive or dead.

The student said it was dead.

The teacher asked how he knew.

The boy said, "I pissed in its ear."

The teacher said, "You what?"

He said, "You know, I went to his ear and said, 'PSST!' and it didn't move. So it must be dead."
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Confused Child

Little Johnny came home from school with a note from his teacher saying that Johnny was having trouble telling the difference between boys and girls, and would his mother please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this. So Johnny's mother takes him quietly by the hand upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door.

"First, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse",she said, so Johnny unbuttons her blouse and takes it off. "O.K., now take off my skirt", and he takes off her skirt. "Now take off my bra", which he does.

"And now, Johnny, please take off my panties". Johnny finishes removing these too.

His mother then says, "Johnny, PLEASE don't wear any of my clothes to school anymore!
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Reality and Imagination


Small boy came home after the school and immediately he goes to his father.
Because the teacher was explaining in the class something about Reality and Imagination but to him it was not clear, he asks his father "can you tell me which the difference between Reality and Imagination is?" trying to be as objective as he can he reply to his sun: "go boy to your mom and your sis and tell them that a very handsome young boy asked you about them, that they are beautiful,like, he would love to share some moments alone with them but tell this to each personally and after they reply cam and tell me what they said". Boy goes at first and after that he has don what his father asked from him, he cams back and tell to father that "mother, when she heard me what I told her, her eyes start shining and asked me about the boys name and where he lives and is he really so cool etc." also the sister did the same, maybe she was more interested in details than mother. Than father told to the sun:
Boy, Imagination in this case is that I always thought that I have a faithful wife and a very educated daughter and Reality is that we have two sluts living in same house with us
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Team Work

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old hockey players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a penalty is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a pecker-head."

Do you understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded.

He continued, "And when I call you off the ice so that another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a dumb a--hole', is it?"

Again the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your mother."